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Vacation Journal
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Bert does Isla

By: JoAnne in CT (View Profile)
Date: 7/14/2005

This is a segment from my upcoming trip report, accompanied by its own PhotoJam:

Friday, July 1st. I awaken to a magnificent sunrise and go outside to photograph the splendor. As the sky grew brighter I glanced around, taking in the early morning sights. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure in the empty lot next to Jim's. Zoom in with the camera to see what it is, and I'll be darned, it's Bert from Sesame Street, just passed out there!

I walked over to the lot and tiptoed over the ground cover, afraid I might step on something that lie sleeping! I pick Bert up and dust him off a bit and notice he's missing an ear, but not much more worse for the wear. He wakes up from his semi-conscious state and seems a bit confused as to how he got there!

He doesn't remember just how long he's been out in that lot, but from the looks of his clothes, he's been baking in the hot sun for some time now.... he vaguely remembers being kidnapped in NYC after a taping of Sesame Street. I ask about his ear, and he says his kidnappers told him they were going to use it as proof that they had him, much like when Paul Getty was kidnapped in the 60s. Poor Bert. He says everything’s foggy to him, but seems to think that a little girl rescued him when he was left alone by his captors… he thinks that maybe she was turned off by his missing ear and just tossed him out on the lot….I don’t recall seeing anything in the news about his kidnapping, so it seems a “new” Bert must have been made to replace the old on TV – one of the drawbacks of being a puppet – quickly replaceable!.

I brought Bert up to the terrace to relax awhile on the lounge. Tim was properly introduced when he woke up, as were Jim and Carmita later in the day. By afternoon, much refreshed by his nap, Bert was coming around and joined us on the terrace, enjoying a couple of beers and floating in Jim’s pool. Carmita introduced him to her pretty pink pig hat and I guess the beers made Bert a little randy – he tried to have his way with it! Perhaps he thought it was Miss Piggy!!

By nightfall, Bert was pretty liquored up, smoking cigarettes and having a grand old time. I ended up putting him back down on the lounge on the terrace to sleep it off… he’d had such an ordeal, I guess he needed to tie one on.

The next day Bert was up with me bright and early to catch the sunrise… our plans for the day were to visit Garrafon Park, and Bert wanted to come along. He wanted to drive the golf cart, but his feet couldn’t exactly reach, so he sat between Tim and me and enjoyed the ride.

Bert lounged under a palapa while we snorkeled and we brought him on our walk along the cliffs… he was awestruck at the beauty of our Isla – he really hadn’t seen much of it, as his kidnappers held him blindfolded most of the time, so he’s really soaking up the sights of his surroundings. We decide to head out for some lunch and some cool drinks. On the way out of Garrafon Bert wants to stop and look at the parrots – they’re pretty scared of him, so we go on our way.

We decide on Playa Lancheros, where Bert decides that Mojitos are just the ticket to cool him off. After relaxing a bit more, we decide to head back to Jim’s to enjoy the pool, some beers and just plain chillin’!

It seems tonight’s the night for baseball field tacos, so off we go with Bert in tow. He just loves the place and stuffs and drinks himself silly!! Back at Jim’s we hang out on the terrace chatting and then saying our goodbyes to Jim and Carmita, as our cab will be coming for us at 7 in the morning. Bert retires to his lounge, and it’s bedtime for us as well.

Morning comes all too soon. I’m up to enjoy the last sunrise and Bert joins me. I’m hoping that he’ll want to return home with us – I think the cats would just love him and that he’d like living with us as well, but he’s got other plans. He’d like to stay on Isla for good. He’s had enough of putting up with Ernie’s crap for 30+ years, and the thought of another winter in NYC is just too much for him.

We go down to the terrace and I leave him in Big Jim’s chair with a note, asking Jim and Carmita to allow Bert to stay in the storage room under the terrace. He’ll be a great addition to Sundays at Jim’s and will keep future guests entertained with stories of his ordeal. We’ve enjoyed our time with him and look forward to the next time we see him – hopefully he’ll stay out of trouble!! I put together this little PhotoJam to commemorate our days together… maybe Jim will show it to Bert on the computer…. Thanks, Bert! It was fun!

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